Dragon Blade

This is currently playing in 3D IMAX in the town where I live and I still can't bring myself to watch it. Maybe on DVD, Maybe.

Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Ascending                                                           #StokerScore 3/10

I didn't have high hopes going into this. I'd read some pretty damning comments but had stayed away from any reviews with a view to making up myown mind as much as possible. As ever, I'm going to try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible but my apologies in advance if I let anything slip.

The Wachowskis have directed some good movies. Bound is a great little noir thriller, and of course The Matrix was a cinematic milestone, but then there were the Matrix sequels, Speed Racer and Cloud Atlas all of which were just huge in terms of scale and effects but let down by story and perhaps expectation.

The trailer for this movie has been playing, seemingly, forever and just looks so lush and amazing that I've been really looking forward to seeing it. It's a space opera and from the trailer we get to see a random cleaner, played by Mila Kunis, find herself in some sticky situations that need a pointy-eared Channing Tatum to rescue her from on her way to becoming some kind of intergalactic monarch.

The trailer also shows us a manic Eddie Redmayne as well as the rarely-makes-it-to-the-end-alive Sean Bean along with some truly jaw-dropping special effects.

The reality for me though was just that. The special effects were incredible, but the script was just plain shocking. Characters uttering nonsense is to be expected to a certain axtent in Sci-Fi movies, but these characters were just plain dumb. On top of thaat the movie seemed to have been edited meaning that characters seemed to all too easily accept things that happened without question. I can only assume the disbelief scenes ended on the cutting room floor.

Would I recommend it? No, not really. I was eventually bored as even though the special effects seemed to just keep getting better, the story got more and more pathetic. The really only important thing for me was whether Sean Bean would make it to the end and for the answer to that you'll just have to sit through it yourself :-)

Not sure what's next. Part of me wants to see just how bad the Jackie Chan/John Cusack "Dragon Blade" is......

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Kingsman: The Secret Service                                                         #StokerScore 10/10

Directed by Matthew Vaughan, who has been responsible for some awesome movies as a producer or director including; X-Men First Class, Kick-Ass, Stardust and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Hell, he’s even got a producer credit on the new Fantastic Four movie which is the only thing keeping my faith in that movie having seen the first lackluster trailer. Anyway, suffice to say he has an eye for action and a heart for story.

The movie owes a lot in so many ways to the 60’s and 70’s spy movies, with particular attention to Moore’s Bond. There was also a feel of ‘The Man from U.N.C.L.E’ tv show, which is also about to see a cinematic return, and I’m even more convinced that I saw tv’s ‘The Persuaders’ where Tony Curtis’ brash American has to go toe to toe with Roger Moore’s Lord Brett Sinclair.

Basically the plot goes that, by virtue of an experiment equivalent to the comically referenced Trading Places and equally comically referenced My Fair Lady, A chav gets the opportunity to be inducted into the ranks of an ultra-secret - and ultra-snobbish - spy organization and fish-out-of-water games ensue, culminating with the realization that he’s not so fish-out-of-water at all and much to the satisfaction of a very happy pug. The lisping bad guy is suitably OTT with a great henchperson to support them and a lair to stand alongside all evil-doer’s lairs.

The cast is excellent, including cameos for some great character actors, with the old stages such as Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Strong and Michael Caine effortlessly guiding the relative newcomers, and the plot moves us along at a rip roaring pace. The language is, for anyone who hasn’t seen Kick-Ass, rather choice so don’t take your granny if she’s going to be put out by consecutive F-Bombs, but in the context of the movie it’s nice to see something that isn’t overly sanitized.

I’m sure that this movie has its faults, but I’m not reviewing it for that. Uchiel and I enjoyed this equally and that’s what these reviews are about. Plus, it’s set the standard for a very promising year of film.

#StokerScore 10/10

Next up is the would-appear-to-be insanity that is “Jupiter Ascending”