Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Ascending                                                           #StokerScore 3/10

I didn't have high hopes going into this. I'd read some pretty damning comments but had stayed away from any reviews with a view to making up myown mind as much as possible. As ever, I'm going to try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible but my apologies in advance if I let anything slip.

The Wachowskis have directed some good movies. Bound is a great little noir thriller, and of course The Matrix was a cinematic milestone, but then there were the Matrix sequels, Speed Racer and Cloud Atlas all of which were just huge in terms of scale and effects but let down by story and perhaps expectation.

The trailer for this movie has been playing, seemingly, forever and just looks so lush and amazing that I've been really looking forward to seeing it. It's a space opera and from the trailer we get to see a random cleaner, played by Mila Kunis, find herself in some sticky situations that need a pointy-eared Channing Tatum to rescue her from on her way to becoming some kind of intergalactic monarch.

The trailer also shows us a manic Eddie Redmayne as well as the rarely-makes-it-to-the-end-alive Sean Bean along with some truly jaw-dropping special effects.

The reality for me though was just that. The special effects were incredible, but the script was just plain shocking. Characters uttering nonsense is to be expected to a certain axtent in Sci-Fi movies, but these characters were just plain dumb. On top of thaat the movie seemed to have been edited meaning that characters seemed to all too easily accept things that happened without question. I can only assume the disbelief scenes ended on the cutting room floor.

Would I recommend it? No, not really. I was eventually bored as even though the special effects seemed to just keep getting better, the story got more and more pathetic. The really only important thing for me was whether Sean Bean would make it to the end and for the answer to that you'll just have to sit through it yourself :-)

Not sure what's next. Part of me wants to see just how bad the Jackie Chan/John Cusack "Dragon Blade" is......