Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

#StokerScore 7.5/10

There have now been five POTC movies in the last 14 years and I must admit I thought they would have called it quits after On Stranger Tides but I guess when even the worst movie in the series brings in over a billion dollars at the box office then we may as well continue to run foul of the RSPCA and keep flogging that dead (mans chest) horse. Yes, one billion dollars and a 32% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes really does say something. Maybe people went to see it once and then left generally bad reviews? maybe a lot of people left bad reviews but audience members went to watch it twice? more? Whatever happened, hopes can't have been that high for this one, especially when you look at how much competition it would be up against.

Lest we forget, the concept for these movies didn't come from a book (update: Thanks go to Justin Crane for pointing out that the fourth movie was actually inspired by a 1987 book of the same name!), or a remake of a grittier foreign movie, nor did it come from a computer game, no this is the cinematic equivalent of the Disney theme park ride on which it's based. So how many movies based on computer games do you know that have brought in more than a billion? The theme for these movies is pretty similar for all five. Some mcguffin needs finding/destroying and it's a great excuse to have to enlist drunken Jack Sparrow and to use his charmed compass for said adventure. Along the way, Depp's boozy buccaneer will seemingly change allegiances thus endangering people considered close to him and yet who will finally redeem himself with something or other. Now I pride myself that these reviews are spoiler free but let me tell you that this movie follows the formula. Sure there are different characters (and some familiar ones) there are different settings too, all built on impressive special effects and it is actually much more fun than the last installment, but it follows that formula. 

Yes, I enjoyed the movie. Not as much as I enjoyed GotGVol2, but a lot more than I expected to and

at some points I did actually laugh out loud, too. But I can't help feeling I'd seen most of it before. In my recent Alien: Covenant review I bemoaned the lack of originality and I'd advise Disney to consider whether there is any benefit in trying to find another seafaring story that hasn't already been told. They took the opportunity to clear up some old story lines but at the same time introduced new, younger characters, too so who knows what the plan is.

But then what do I know; Universal are about to give us a new, PG-13 Mummy movie, the last Fast and Furious-er did amazingly good business, There's a new Transformers movie this year that will no doubt increase sales of related toys and possibly ear-drum replacement operations, and even Sony/Marvel are going to try again with Spider-Man. 

I fondly remember watching The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad and Sinbad and The Eye of The Tiger as a kid and furiously searching for others in the series that I must have missed. It is this that reminds

me that there is an audience for much more of the same and that is why movie companies can't be blamed for trying. As long as the stories have some thought put into them and aren't just poor pastiches then I'm up for another go-round.